There is a roar rising up in my belly. There is a movement stirring up in my bones. It's coming out when I least expect it. It feels like I'm coming to life again. I have been known and have known myself to be a quiet, non-charismatic type of person. But I'm finding it difficult to still the roar within. The roar began unexpectedly though. It didn't start with me seeking a shout. It started when I sought silence. And in the silence I've heard a sound that I cannot forsake.
Silence seems so innocuous, so inconsequential. But there is a deep power in it. Scripture says, "Be still and know that I am God", in the silence is the knowing. In the silence a deep faith rises. One that says, I can let go of my sense of control, I can let go of my need to do, I will trust that God is on the throne. Scripture also says, "In repentance and rest will you be saved, in quietness and trust will be your strength". I knew all of this, but last year when I was reading a book (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero, I can't over-recommend this book) it came to life for me. The author suggests to begin practicing silence daily by setting a short timer for before and after your devotional. I started with a two minute timer two to four times a day. Even that is difficult for me most days. The swirling of the world around me draws me in. The religion I get stuck in tries to pull me away. It says that my time would be better spent praying for someone or doing something. But God has never failed to meet me in the silence. He is never silent. He has accomplished more in me and in my circumstances in two minutes than I have accomplished by fighting tooth and nail for months. In taking an action of faith to believe that God is on the throne, I have experienced His reign.
Oh my dear friends, I wish this meant that I've arrived. Instead it has only made the tax-collector's prayer more real to me, "Have mercy on me, a sinner." In the presence of the One who is holier than I can comprehend, I find that I am more in need of His great mercy than I could understand. And He gives it so freely. And it is in that place of my being coming undone that the roar of heaven overtakes me. The merciful, glorious roar that rises up to a King worthy of all praise and honor and glory. The powerful roar coming from the Lion of Judah's lips that He allows me to share in, as His voice shakes the foundations of the earth, breaks off every chain, and rips open every grave. The mercy of God alone permits me to share this wonder, because I fall so short so often from this magnificent call. And before you say, well Rose, I know you and you're totally not there, let me say that I know that so much better than you will ever know. Please share with me places where you've seen the goodness of God manifest in your life recently or share the desire of your heart to see Him in certain places in your life.
Silence seems so innocuous, so inconsequential. But there is a deep power in it. Scripture says, "Be still and know that I am God", in the silence is the knowing. In the silence a deep faith rises. One that says, I can let go of my sense of control, I can let go of my need to do, I will trust that God is on the throne. Scripture also says, "In repentance and rest will you be saved, in quietness and trust will be your strength". I knew all of this, but last year when I was reading a book (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero, I can't over-recommend this book) it came to life for me. The author suggests to begin practicing silence daily by setting a short timer for before and after your devotional. I started with a two minute timer two to four times a day. Even that is difficult for me most days. The swirling of the world around me draws me in. The religion I get stuck in tries to pull me away. It says that my time would be better spent praying for someone or doing something. But God has never failed to meet me in the silence. He is never silent. He has accomplished more in me and in my circumstances in two minutes than I have accomplished by fighting tooth and nail for months. In taking an action of faith to believe that God is on the throne, I have experienced His reign.
Oh my dear friends, I wish this meant that I've arrived. Instead it has only made the tax-collector's prayer more real to me, "Have mercy on me, a sinner." In the presence of the One who is holier than I can comprehend, I find that I am more in need of His great mercy than I could understand. And He gives it so freely. And it is in that place of my being coming undone that the roar of heaven overtakes me. The merciful, glorious roar that rises up to a King worthy of all praise and honor and glory. The powerful roar coming from the Lion of Judah's lips that He allows me to share in, as His voice shakes the foundations of the earth, breaks off every chain, and rips open every grave. The mercy of God alone permits me to share this wonder, because I fall so short so often from this magnificent call. And before you say, well Rose, I know you and you're totally not there, let me say that I know that so much better than you will ever know. Please share with me places where you've seen the goodness of God manifest in your life recently or share the desire of your heart to see Him in certain places in your life.
